Repetition
by utdfan22
Summary: Fin attempts to reflect on the similarities between Sigurd's army and Celice's during the second gen. It would only be natural that someone as "proper" as Fin would occasionally fall into a depression after all he's suffered without ever releasing that stress. Although his singular loyalty to Lenster's royalty would probably still dictate events.


**Author's Note: Takes place within the same time frame as Protection, more precisely when Arthur mentions a "reminiscing Fin". Once again, trying to branch out on my style by covering some different characters. If Fin seems a little OOC, he's kind of meant to be. The game doesn't focus too heavily on him in the second generation, so here's a more depressed Duke Knight than you're probably used to.**

Repetition. The concept seems so innocent and yet it is the constant daily grind that crushes one's soul far more easily than the poignant moments of tragedy.

Fin knew someone had told him that but couldn't for the life of him remember who it had been.

It wasn't Cuan… Lenster's prince had been far too passionate and driven to even notice the cyclic nature of life, performing his duties as a knight and a noble most admirably.

It also couldn't have been Leaf… Lenster's prince was too brimming with zeal to worry about such things, admirably fighting as a leader and a warrior on and off the battlefield.

Familiar substance dressed in fresh garb.

Fin scoffed at the realization that even his own thoughts were beginning to settle into a predictable routine… the seventeen year gap changing so little as the players took to the stage, new actors for much the same parts.

The same wonderful, nostalgic and thoroughly tragic parts.

Fin spotted Arthur passing by and raised a hand in greeting but the Thunder Mage must have spotted the melancholy on his face because he responded briefly before excusing himself quicker than Fin could speak.

Even that had flashes of Sir Sigurd's army, Fin's first encounter with Tailto to be specific. Something involving Cuan… or was it Lachesis… it could've been Ethlin… the details were fuzzy but something had depressed him. Tailto had exchanged greetings before pretending to hear Father Claude "calling for his bodyguard" and escaping from the blue haired knight's gloomy disposition.

The similarity between mother and son brought a quiet chuckle to him before dissolving into a thin frown as knowledge of Tailto's end reared its ugly head.

The overly energetic girl had been slowly tortured and broken before dying while still the helpless prisoner of her own family.

Yes, Arthur was a lot like his mother… and that only twisted the knife further as the hopelessness of their situation resonated so strongly with the nights spent on the run from Grandbell's forces as they raced towards Silesia so long ago.

Fin's awareness of his surroundings was almost blank as he walked, his feet seeming to move automatically along a familiar path as he aimlessly wandered throughout the castle's nooks and crannies on some phantom guard duty.

He found himself travelling across the parapets, his eyes only registering what was in front of him when his daughter's voice called out from ahead, the blond haired girl waving towards him while Altenna and Leaf both smiled and nodded in greeting.

"Father, are you alright? You look worried about something" Nanna asked as she detached herself from Leaf and his sister's side "You haven't been drinking again have you?" she asked as she sniffed the air suspiciously, beaming when she failed to find the telltale scent.

Fin's lips curled upward subconsciously as he reached forward to gently pat her head, the Troubadour's smile warming his heart slightly as fonder memories began to surface.

"No, I'm trying to remember tonight. Not forget." he answered as Lachesis' image floated about Nanna, like a pleasant spectre.

"Care to join us?" Altenna offered, patting the wall invitingly.

Fin pretended to contemplate it for a moment before settling into the more lively conversation of his surrogate family, more lively compared to his normally stiff musings and manner anyway.

"Hard to believe Thracia is subdued." Fin said sullenly as he took in the moonlit view of the mountains they had just traversed "So little satisfaction to be taken from it… it's Agustria all over again."

Fin felt a pair of hands on his shoulder and a third gently laid upon his back, the younger Lenster trio offering their support to him without hesitation. He treasured their compassion… it was a reminder of simpler times when he had studied directly under Cuan.

Even his own place had been filled… half by prince Leaf (the learner) and half by Nanna (his blood daughter). The roles had been redistributed but they were all still there and that… was something of a secret comfort and a painful reminder rolled into one.

"Care to share your troubles?" Leaf's youthful voice reminded him of Ethlin's the day she'd decided that the knight shadowing her husband was essentially family.

Unconsciously, Fin stiffened and assumed a more formal poise as a reaction to his liege's (in Fin's opinion) unfitting familiarity.

"It's nothing you need concern yourself with. I'm your counsel and servant, my problems are beneath you." Fin assured with a dismissive wave of his hand "Besides it really isn't important... just an old man falling back on his memories."

"You're right; I don't have to concern myself with your problems. I want to… so; I will order you to tell me what's wrong if asking nicely doesn't work." Leaf's eyes shined mischievously, Ethlin's son mimicking his mother's perseverance to destroy Fin's sense of dutiful silence.

Sighing at the realisation, he decided to be as blunt as possible to end the conversation before he said something he'd regret "You are definitely your mother's son."

Seeing the confusion in Leaf's brown eyes, the blue haired knight continued, smiling tiredly as a fond nostalgia washed over him.

"It's a compliment, honestly. She never would let me keep my problems to myself." Fin chuckled at this "Lady Ethlin thought I was the sullen sort who tried to forget his problems rather than face them. Lady Ethlin meant well, she always did."

As he'd spoken, the Duke Knight had gradually stopped talking to the people around him as he internalised his feelings and began softly reciting his thoughts aloud.

Leaf shrugged sadly at the sight before him, Nanna doing the same as they watched him in a helpless sort of way. In the back of his mind, Fin realised he was used to this. They were far too young to understand the appeal of living in one's past.

"Okay, that's enough of that!" Altenna clapped her hands together before letting them rest on her hips, glaring intently at the moping Duke Knight "We have enough problems right now without worrying about things we can do nothing about. Believe me; I've seen what that can do to a person."

Fin wasn't entirely sure who she was referring to but he had seen that same doubt-crushing determination before, her father shining through in-

"Hey, come back to us." Altenna snapped her fingers for added effect, Fin's daze shattering again under her scrutiny "You must have some more pleasant memories to focus on, right? None of us want you wallowing in your own misery."

"She's right, Father." "I couldn't agree any more with my sister on this."

Fin found himself grinning; their concern was so earnest that he found it impossible not to be flattered. For some reason, Lenster's royalty had decided that a random knight in their employ deserved to be treated as an equal and that still boggled his mind after all these years.

He was beyond grateful to have been put in the service of such fine people and to have been privileged enough to witness their son grow into a man that would make them both so proud.

"Fair enough." Fin answered while straightening his tunic "But most of my memories are happy ones. They're just… impossible now is all. Too many lost friends you see."

"Then focus on someone that isn't. Hm, why not me?!" Altenna said confidently.

"Pardon?"

"I mean from when I was a child. You said I was three when I was kidnapped, and I know I met you before then. I know it." Altenna's chocolate orbs were bright and curious, the one trait that the striking Dragon Knight had held onto from before Yied.

"I was essentially your escort; I took care of your needs while your parents were busy." Fin rubbed his chin in contemplation, his tongue pushing against his cheek "I don't recall much of interest beyond that. You were a normal, energetic little girl. I enjoyed our time together, if that helps answer your question."

Altenna crossed her arms, pouting slightly as she tried to think of something from her days with her parents. Fin sighed again as he found himself without a story to tell.

"I'm sorry but there isn't-" "A wedding veil." "-much to say?"

"I distinctly remember a wedding veil!" Altenna cried triumphantly, her brother and Nanna tilting their heads curiously while Fin's cheeks flushed violently crimson.

"Really, how strange… perhaps I found you rooting through your mother's belongings once. You preferred playing in your father's things, so that must be why the memory stands out for you." Fin pretended to shake his head bemusedly while trying desperately to keep himself from hyperventilating.

"I don't think I was wearing it." Altenna continued, ignorant of his distress as her eyes narrowed in intense thought.

Fin felt an uncomfortable sweat forming on the back of his neck as he struggled to squash her curiosity without appearing impudent.

"How odd." Fin's left eye twitched uncontrollably when her eyes bore into his own "It sounds like it made quite an impression for you to remember it after so long. I'm just sorry that it seems to have slipped my mind. I might remember later, if you are still curious."

Glancing up at the moon, Fin's eyes widened in delight "Look where the moon is, it's getting late and I have some business I must attend to. I'll just take my leave here. Thank you for your time Milady, Milord. Good night Nanna."

Without waiting for a response, Fin began marching off as quickly as he could without raising suspicion, hearing Leaf and Nanna calling out their goodbyes from behind.

However, he could've sworn he also heard Altenna say "Do you think a wedding veil would suit Fin?"

While he was certain no one else (Altenna included) would give the matter much thought, Fin himself certainly would. After all, it was probably the most embarrassing moment in his life.

He'd lost sight of the little girl somewhere in Lenster castles courtyard, the tall trees dotting the area's edge with vibrant greens and browns.

Unfortunately none of those browns included the lighter complexion of Lenster's princess' hair, leaving the blue haired knight with little option but to spend an hour running about the courtyard and dropping to his knees in a frantic search.

Eventually, after many crushed plants and an aching back, Fin decided to look inside the castle. He soon realised that the princess had made her way into her parents' room, one of her shoes lying outside the slightly ajar door.

His feelings of relief were soon replaced with a sense of amusement at the sight of princess Altenna curiously poking and rotating her mother's snow white veil in her tiny hands. The dress itself was splayed out messily on the floor, still half-folded even after its tumble.

Altenna had decided to play a game and as usual when Fin was the only one available, he soon found himself her playmate. As a knight in her service (technically) he thought he had no right to deny her anything that wouldn't risk harming her, her safety superseding her authority as Cuan had spent the entirety of a very long afternoon making clear after an incident with a lance.

Like many little girls, Altenna decided to play dress-up of a sort, one based around her wedding day. Appropriately enough she already had the clothes (the veil would be enough) and a formal cloak that she'd pulled from Sir Cuan's possessions.

And that was how Fin found his vision obscured by white cloth as Altenna used one of his knees to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him and acted out the part of the valiant prince marrying his ("or her" as Altenna had argued childishly) princess.

He'd been gushing praise for his rescue from an evil sorcerer when Ethlin had wandered in and quickly fell to the ground in stitches after a moment of shock.

Despite himself, Fin had never forgotten that moment. He may have been uncomfortable getting too unprofessional with the Lenster royals but he'd been so embarrassed back then that he didn't worry about how naturally he seemed to fit into their family. It was a surprisingly pleasant memory… so long as no one else found out about it and it never happened again.

What had he been upset over again? He'd gotten lost somewhere in his memories and forgotten all about it.

He decided it probably wasn't important; he had his duty and people he cared about. Anything beyond that was meaningless fluff.

Fin was far more aware as he walked back through the castle's corridors, wondering if Oifaye would be willing to share a few drinks with him in the local tavern.

They could reminisce together over a beer.


End file.
